Lent Your Way?

This year is really flying by!  I can’t believe we are already in March and it’s time for Lent.  I am not Catholic in any way but I have always been fascinated by how Catholics and the, “I’m only Catholic on holidays” Catholics celebrate this religious process.  The basic concept is denying yourself something for 40 days in an effort to draw you closer to God.  It’s not Biblical but it is what they believe.  I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t broken Lent within a week or actually avoided eating meat on Friday.  I wanted to take this a step further to see if people can go without something important to them for any time period all in an effort to draw themselves closer to God?  There are so many things we do on a daily basis that are such a habit that we don’t even realize we are doing them.  Humans are ritualistic and forget to function on thought sometimes because it takes too long to break cycles.

What if we challenged ourselves to spend a few days trying something else?  Doing something new or letting go of a vice that may be killing us in an effort to pull closer to God?  And for those who don’t or refuse to believe in God, doing all the same just to find some peace of mind or clarity?  I am not saying to do this for 40 days at a time but start small.  If you smoke, go a full day without cigarettes.  If you are a heavy drinker, cut back to once a week.  If you have a gym membership that you barely use, make an effort to start going once a week.  There are very big and small ways in our lives that we can make changes to find balance.  It all comes down to if we are willing or not.  I have challenged myself to get a lot of the stuff done around the house that needs it before it gets too warm outside.  I like to do yard work in late Winter/early Spring versus trying to hump around all summer in the heat.  I want to fully enjoy Summer this year.  My smaller more personal goal, not just for 40 days, is to spend more time each day with God.  I have found myself doing too much other stuff and then realized it’s just stuff.  I felt empty.

What will you be inspired to do?  Maybe it is time to let go of those old pains, get that big final cry out?  Maybe it is time to try something new – almost anything new!  Cliff diving in Mexico might not be your thing but wearing a dress for the first time in years might be your start.  Going on that first date, deciding to take things to the next level, planning to get married or working toward making your relationship or marriage stronger versus throwing in the towel, or remembering why you have always loved that person no matter what and finally making your lives become one.  It is never too late for any of this.  You are the starting point.

Whether it is for Lent, one week or one day, you should strive to cut away the old bad habits.  That is the only way new and positive habits  will enter your life and stick around.  What will you try today?

Back to School Stress

I encourage you to stay focused on your education.  Worrying about what is on your back versus the degree hanging on your wall is completely pointless.  Yes, it is fun to look good but it is also fun to stretch your mind and ascend to higher levels of education.  Some career paths demand you to be a full time employee and part time student and it’s important to maintain it.

Stay Organized:  I can not stress this enough!  If you are not the type then take some time and meet with those who are.  Buying endless calenders isn’t worth your time if you aren’t going to use it.  Since we live in an age with smart phones and tablets are becoming more inexpensive, get one.  Program it with your daily life schedule and make a habit to keep a paper copy just in case your technological best friend dies on you.  Getting into a good routine will help you in the long run.

Set realistic goals:  I am a firm believer that at any age you can start over.  There was a woman who in her 80s wanted to go to law school did.  Just because your current career path, job or lifestyle causes setbacks, find the core issues and rise above them.  It is possible and you are capable!

Carve out me time:  It is important that you remember how much you mean to the world.  To live a life that is full of stress and frustration harms the very being you are.  Whether you take time each day to unwind or do something special each week for yourself – do it and maintain it.

Remember to have fun:  It’s that simple.  Whether you need to hop on Tumblr during your lunch break or you need to watch Golden Girls each night before bed (I know, I do) stick it in your routine like you would add lemon zest.  Sprinkle in some fun to take the edge off.  It works better than coffee (almost, anyway).

At the beginning of the year you are worried about having the right “look” but come midterms before Thanksgiving, you will be headed to class in somewhat clean sweatpants and Ugg like boots with 3 pencils in your hair.  It’s a reality of school and life so just remember to shower and stay focused on studying.

Have a great year! 

Is 20 Really the New 30? I Don't Think So

Every so often you hear the phrase, “30 is the new 20″ or “40 is the new 30″ and so on.  It annoys me because it is simply not true  and shows how youth obsessed we are as a culture.  This year, in December, I will be turning 30 and you know what?  I’m glad it won’t be a repeat of my early 20s.  I have grown so much as a person in the last 10 years and frankly, I don’t ever want to return there.  I had a great time over the last decade and where I am now, and am going with my life is more of an adventure to me than feeling as though I can “restart” at some point in my life.

My body has changed in all aspects.  I can see some lines being drawn on my face by time, I can feel a difference in my skin, my hair, teeth – everything and I am okay with it.  I respect the flow of life and events and have adapted to what I currently have.  Something I found that helped keep my mind level was creating smaller goals for myself and sticking to them.  Currently, I am aiming at losing another 40lbs of fat.  I started lifting weights last December and a few weeks ago started Zumba (which is amazing).  I am not doing this to fall into what is “beautiful”; I am doing it for me and my family.  I’m in this life for the long haul, God willing.  I want to make a difference in others’ lives and I want to be an example for my son to start healthy and stay healthy as an adult, in mind, body and soul.  For everyone else, whatever age you are, be that age, have fun and learn from your mistakes.  I remember the 16 year old me, the 21 year old me and now the 29 year old me and they are so different that if they were in the same room together, they wouldn’t know each other.  It’s a good thing and can only go up from here.  I’m not afraid of failure and know that around the next corner I will find my success as will you.

As I enter the next decade, I hope to make many more new friends, open my life up to numerous new and exciting opportunities and do more traveling.  For those worried or hoping to be 20-something again, find inspiration in your current 20,30,40,50+ something.  Each decade brings us closer to that true enlightenment.  Each new line, wrinkle, or gray hair is a mark that we lived our lives fully and completely.  Embrace it!

Me at 29 (currently)

Major Life Rules

                How many times are we faced with challenges and then begin to doubt ourselves?  Almost every day, right?   We might be running late for work, have issues at work, issues with coworkers, family, relationships, and friends and so on.  I know I can create a list of things going on right now that I feel I need to solve before my head hits the pillow tonight.  Is it a reality to start solving all of these problems?  Is there a DNA code hidden that will reveal our true identities as differing super heroes and heroines?  I wish, if only to get a cool cape out of the deal!  The real starting point starts from within us, and then it can move outward.  

 Respecting Elders:   I teach my son, who is now four, the importance of respecting the older generation.  It is important to know where you came from to know where you are going.  This applies to all of us.  I see it so many times when  people are in such a hurry and won’t hold a door for someone, or they are quick to cut off someone older because they are speaking too slowly.  Is your life really worth that much more than theirs that you are unable to give them the respect they deserve?  I always make a point to talk with older folks any chance I get.  The wisdom they share is invaluable.  They have lived a life before all of our modern conveniences and know how to sustain relationships; whether it’s between friends or lovers.  They know how to survive through it all; racism, bigotry, hatred, and injustice.  

Respecting Each Other:  Plain and simple, remember the little things.  Whether your friend is dealing with sobriety, diet, lifestyle change, et cetera, remember to celebrate and respect their wishes and desires.  Hold the door for someone behind you.  It doesn’t matter who they are, just hold the door and don’t let it slam in anyone’s face – even if they are too consumed in their handheld instrument of choice.  Also, remember to use kind words, even among the harshest.  It is very tempting to join in the crowd and hurt another, especially if it is due to peer pressure.  You are resilient, don’t give into such dramatics.  This goes for all kinds of bullying.  Fat shaming, slut shaming, gay shaming – you name it, it needs to stop!  We are all different for a reason and should work together to bridge the gap rather than tear someone down.  You never know who you are pushing over the edge to suicide.  It only takes one word, one action, one display of being ignored, forgotten,  or unloved to push someone to that point.  Embrace, empower and spread love, folks.  

Respect Your Surroundings:  It’s simple.  Clean up the Earth and it will thank you.  This is more than just recycling.  I don’t know how often I’m in a major city in the US and the streets are covered in litter and beautiful walls are covered in graffiti.  It is depressing.  Do your part and inspire others to do theirs and hopefully, the chain reaction will spark a movement.  It only takes one person to start, why not let it be you?  

Respect Yourself:  I cannot stress this enough.  There are so many people out there who are lost in who they are, thrown into a pit of self-loathing and despair because they don’t feel they measure up to the standard of beauty.  This isn’t just a female thing either.  There are men who do not feel adequate because they don’t look like the men in those muscle magazines.  If you have a healthy goal that you set for yourself, I suggest you work as hard as possible to achieve it.  Nothing should stop you from reaching your dream.  The sad thing is, your worst enemy is starring at you every time you look in the mirror.  That voice saying, “Why are you wasting your time?”  Why are you wasting your time listening to that voice?  You are worth it.  You are loved.  You CAN do it!  Make this your time, year and life.