It is a reality that in our modern age that meeting that special
someone may require an internet connection. So many people are just
too busy to get out there and meet people the old fashion way. I know a
lot are also tired of meeting people in the bar/club setting, and don’t
feel you can easily meet someone at the grocery store. I will agree
that meeting someone in a bar is likely to not end well. Drunk
decisions tend to not be the best decisions. That is why I feel there
are a lot of positives and more possibilities to meeting people online.
You are able to get a feel of who they are, their interests and goals
faster than meeting once and having intermittent phone conversations and
endless text messages that seem to go nowhere. But what happens when
those online relationships never get off the ground? They go in circles
for a variety of reasons, and can sometimes go on for what feels like
forever.
I do feel that with keeping that distance between two people, it is a
safety net for one or both parties. There is minimal risk in getting
hurt if all you two are doing is trading words typed through a computer
for what feels like ages. I also feel that sitting behind a computer
gives some a sense of confidence that they would never have in person.
They would never have the guts to talk to the woman of their dreams or
the man of their dreams if they encountered them in a bookstore, grocery
or a bar. They would have missed that chance entirely over their own
insecurities and fear. Who wants to be rejected? It’s not a nice
feeling at all for anyone.
What about the other side of modern dating with this influx of online
dating? The disturbing amount of people who are either married or are
already in committed relationships with other people that pretend to be
single? It can be very obvious when you encounter a married man or
woman. They usually aren’t looking to get serious in any way possible.
They want to meet up in areas that are not local to where they live, or
where they may run into someone, or they only want to spend time at
your place. The flip side, they will only want you on their time and
the “relationship” may not materialize in the real world. They are
always too busy for you, and refuse to make time. These people use all
available dating sites, free or paid, trolling for whatever they can
find.
Tips to avoid pitfalls:
- Utilize Google Search: Most people are not crafty
Bond villains and use the same screen name for just about everything –
even personal and professional emails. If you have met someone who you
think is the bee’s knees, check them out. Empower yourself with
knowledge so you aren’t just another notch on their belt.
- Is there really chemistry?: Be mindful of who you
are talking with. If they immediately are demanding you send them
endless pictures of yourself, some of which are semi nude, drop them.
It’s disrespectful and they are only after one thing – plus you aren’t
the only one they are engaging with in that manner. Look for that
natural flow of conversation, even if you are only talking about
something simple. If you click, let it grow.
- Real Time Dating: When you first meet someone, you
should look to connect in person as soon as possible. Let’s break this
section down first. If he or she is coming off as a creep, do not bother with them. If he or she gives you a bad vibe, do not
bother with them. Are you getting the idea? Use your better
judgement. People give neon sign like clues about who they are. It is
up to you to read them. Learn to ask them questions about who they are
and what they are looking for in the long run. When I say connect in
person as soon as possible it should be in a very public location and it should be very
casual. Why get stuck through an entire dinner with someone you don’t
actually like? Don’t get mixed up with someone who would rather waste
your time than work to build a life with you. You are important and
your time is just as important.
- Practice safe sex: I can not stress this enough!
Condoms are a lot cheaper than raising a child. Plus, you won’t have to
take a pack of condoms to court over child support or custody issues.
- Are you happy?: It is a simple question. Does
this person make you happy? Do you look forward to your conversations
together or spending time together? If yes, then great! I wish you all
the best. If not, start preparing for an exit. Life is just too short
to continue going around and around again.
There is a lot of truth to the saying if someone is serious about
you, they will make it known and they will make plans with you in both
the long and short term. This is true for any medium of where you can
meet someone. Remember to take care of yourself before you start losing
it to someone else. Be aware, be empowered and
let love find you, not the other way around.