A Hug or a Handshake?

This is part of a conversation told to me.  It really happened, but I won't reveal any names.  The woman initiated this conversation by calling the guy.  These two met online and had barely been chatting by phone over the course of a week.  The main mode of "talking" was done through text messages.

"Why haven't you asked me out yet?"  - Woman
"Oh, are you going to take me out?" - Man
"No, I was calling to ask you to ask me out.  Are you going to be a gentleman and ask me out?" - Woman
"You didn't let me be a gentleman and ask you." - Man

Did Louie Really Hit IT on the Head?

If you haven't heard, seen or watched the clip of Louis CK's show, "Louie," where the fat woman  voices her struggles with dating in great detail, you are missing an important conversation that is almost muted in our society.  The female character goes on about how her struggles encompass men almost living in fear of walking hand in hand with her, let alone dating her, because they are worried to be seen with her.  Louie's character gives off the usual physical and verbal reactions; looking around nervously, and spitting out the knee jerk reaction of, "No, you aren't fat" as a way to make the woman feel better about herself and almost convince himself that it is indeed okay and acceptable TO date her.  I don't necessarily agree with all of what the female character is saying, but I think it's important to start there.

Every Day is Mother's Day

I hope you were all able to enjoy Mother's Day, spending it with those that meant the most to you.  Whether it was the woman who gave birth to you, adopted you, or raised you; each woman in your life is special and deserving of the title "Mother."  This, of course, extends to those newer Moms out there who are newly pregnant or  have young children.  Enjoy the ride, take too many pictures and spend as much time as you possibly can with them.  They grow up too fast, and you can't makeup for the lost time.

With all the special gifts we can exchange over any holiday, the best gift to give is self esteem.  Too many women of all ages are suffering, sometimes in silence due to not feeling adequate.  You are all capable, beautiful, smart, and worthy!  Remind yourself each day, and remind those wonderful women around you too.  Let's work hard to keep that gift going!  Fresh flowers are always a bonus too.

Just Another Fitness Fad?

I am tired of all the gimic-y fitness things going around lately.  Currently, there seems to be a market for owning your own fitness company, selling shakes, and promoting a “clean” lifestyle.  It’s all well and good but let’s look at the reality of the fitness movement – some of these folks use crash diets or various forms of starvation to achieve such results.  Where is the emphasis on being healthy?  Why is there so much  judgement on those who don’t “look” healthy?  I think it’s disgusting and disturbing that such hate is spewed out on women and men who don’t fit into a certain ideal or size.  It’s time to take back your voice, power, and your health.  It’s time to take back your time in the sun.  I think the first step is realizing the reality of your health and fitness level.  I will break down each section to open up the dialogue on what it means to have a realistic fitness plan.

Product Review: Eucerin "Professional Repair"

I received the sample in the mail of Eucerin’s Professional Repair lotion.  It’s marked for extremely dry skin, so I used my tiny sample on my elbows and what was left on my heels.  I did not find that it lived up to its name.  My skin on both areas was not any more repaired than when I use my Target store brand lotion that is geared toward dry skin.

The Eucerin product retails around $7 in both powerhouses of Target and Walmart for 6.8 fl oz.  That is just crazy really.  It’s not gold, it’s lotion.  My 32 fl oz bottle of lotion retails around $6, and I get it from Target.   I won’t be making a switch any time soon.  I found something that works great for my winter dry skin.

What are you using that works for your skin?

BoOoOo!

It's a cool morning here and all of social media is buzzing about pumpkins, desserts, Halloween and boots for Fall and the upcoming Winter season.  My personal favorite is sweet potato cake and pumpkin muffins.  I also love Halloween too.  I love the dressing up, socializing with friends and all the free candy, or at least the candy that is dirt cheap the day after Halloween.  I know around this time a lot of stores are running ads for costumes and those Halloween Adventures are starting to pop up around towns across the US.  For the most part, this is a great resource for all the fake blood and guts you need to make your Halloween the most memorable.  The downside?  Their selection for anyone over a true size 14.

The last time I bought one of those prepackaged costumes, it was over priced (surprise) and fit okay but not great.  I would have liked it in a size larger but what are you going to do?  I have spent a lot of time searching out stores that have some extended sizes but they end up being incredibly expensive.  Why would I spend $50-$70 for something I'm wearing for only a few hours that will invariably end up with some food or drink stain on it?  Chances are I won't wear it again another year either.  If you are into spending that kind of money, Torrid would happily take your cash.  They have various Halloween styles that are $50+ and are sizes 12-28.

What about those who can't afford to spend that or simply don't want to?  Make your own costume.  You would be surprised at how easy this is and how inexpensive.  Unless you want to get into something more intricate with sewing great detail and so on, you can find most pieces you will need at a local thrift shop.  They always have various items that can be pieced together to create a unique costume that actually will fit and won't break the bank.
General suggestions:

• Pirate/Gypsy/Witch:  Look for ruffled blouses, corsets, long flowy skirts, scarves to wrap around your head and old costume jewlery to accent your outfit.  If the outfit doesn't look distressed enough, you can use an exacto knife or razor to shread some of the fabric in small areas then run it through the wash.  It will come out looking a bit worn and faded.
• Disney like characters:  I've seen more adults wanting to dress like Cinderella or Belle lately than little girls and that's great.  It is easy to find similar style gowns and the accessories on the cheap.
• Various Animals:  These are easy enough depending on what kind you want.   A little makeup, headband with ears or horns and you are good to go.
• Medical Staff:  Most thrift stores don't carry old scrubs but Walmart actually sells scrubs.  If you are a great seamstress or know someone who can sew, get an outfit, cut it up to how you want and boom - costume.
• Cop:  Same goes for being a Cop or a Sexy Cop of some kind.  Finding the various parts of the outfit is easy enough and fake handcuffs aren't expensive either.
• Various Book or Literature Characters:  It is very easy to find things to put together so you can look just like your favorite character.  Especially since a lot of book characters channel the fashion of years ago so finding the old plaid or worn clothes is an easy find.

For all the other special additives such as fishnets and tights, I have found that Burlington Coat Factory does sell it in plus sizes.  I know Walmart does sell it in plus sizes as well but I haven't tried them personally.  I may this Halloween season though.  I invite you to be creative this year and find something that you like and want to be.  Don't feel limited or intimidated by what is on the rack because it isn't your only option.

Good luck, stay safe and enjoy the sweets!

VPL

Visible Panty Line is a constant struggle because a lot of clothing items aren't lined anymore.  Lined meaning, there is an extra layer of material between you and the garment to avoid seeing any bumps, lumps or panty lines.  They also don't make slips anymore like they used to either.  The new thing is shape-wear which I am not a fan.  I think it's confining, constricting and uncomfortable.  The closest I get is control top panty hose when it gets cooler out for more dressy and formal occasions.   

For all the other times, wearing the right underwear is crucial. 

Fabrics:

• Cotton:  This is by far the best fabric to buy for your body.  It's also a great choice to wear under denim. 
• Satin/Silk:  This may feel silky and smooth but is not ideal for all day wear, unless it has a cotton panel.  Yeast infections are a very real thing.  
• Lace:  It's pretty and feminine but can be seen through almost anything.  I say keep this to lingerie unless that's the look you are going for. 
• Polyester/Rayon:  This fabric is becoming more and more common in place of satin or silk because it's cheaper to make and produce.  The same rules apply, if it doesn't come with a cotton panel, don't bother with them.  
• Lycra/Spandex:  It's tight.  It will stretch out faster no matter how well you wash it and it's more expensive.  You can wear this under formal dresses, semi formal wear, work clothing as well.  It doesn't breath well either, so pray there is a good A/C wherever you are going. 

Styles:

• Hipsters:  This is my favorite style to wear as far as every day is concerned.  It sits at the top of your hips, right below your belly button.  It's comfortable, trendy and can be worn with pants, skirts, and various short styles. I wouldn't recommend it under a dress because of the dreaded "roll down" then you have to pray you have a moment to run to the bathroom to adjust yourself. 
• Boy Shorts:  This is a fun style that a lot of people enjoy.  It can be worn under almost everything and is very comfortable.  It does allow for more coverage of your tushie and sits at your belly button.  
• Thong:  Be careful with this style.  It might be sexy but it's not ideal to wear all day.  
• High Waist:  This is great under dresses and dress pants.  It allows for the coverage, comfort and seamless effect.  

My rule of thumb is prepare your undergarments as well as you prepare the outfit you are wearing.  The right underwear can save you a lot of embarrassing situations in life, also can save you from doing that shuffle-walk in an effort to adjust yourself.  Invest in good quality underwear that will last a while for your formal and professional ocassions.  Do not feel like you are stuck buying from one store because there are a lot of retailers that sell plus size items.  Also, don't feel bad if you end up buying cheap, every day stuff either.  Things stretch out over time, get holes and don't fit as well as they did before.  Toss them, move on and be happy - your bottom half will thank you.  With each season, go through your drawer and discard.  You know what needs to stay and what needs to go.  

This is my faux pas with underwear done on purpose.  Yoga pants can be awesome but dangerous. Just be mindful of where your top is. That's my hip and part of my stomach. 
See that blue monster peeking out from below deck?  March back in there, mister!

Nail Treats

I’ve been feeling stressed out lately, mainly due to a few life issues going on for me.  Changed my polish today which always puts me into a better mood.  It’s probably more of a Fall shade but I don’t care.  I don’t see a reason in adhering to trends and seasons – if you like it and it will make you feel better, do it.

“Gorgeous” by Sinful Colors as the base layered with, “All About You” by Sunful Colors on top.  I finished with a clear coat on top for extra shine.

Heat Wave Hair Watch

The past few days have been a reminder that the Summer heat is right around the corner.  This prompted me to stock up on some summer hair supplies for when it is pointless to use a blow dryer and other styling tools.  For my curly haired mavens, Dove makes a great whipped mousse product that is inexpensive.  Suave does as well and is even cheaper.  I usually finish off the style with Dove's hairspray.  

  Whipped Cream Mousse

Dove Hold Hairspray

Suave Captivating Curls

Remember if you are going swimming in the pool to not add any product to your hair.  The chemicals in the pool don't mix well and will dry your hair out.  Once you are done swimming, rinse your hair out with clean water if you are able until you can wash your hair.
I usually add baby shampoo to my hair washing routine in the summer since I am washing my hair more often.  It cleans well without weighing your hair down and is inexpensive.  You don't have to buy name brand baby shampoo, the store brand works just as well.  Don't forget the conditioner either.  Chlorine dries your hair out big time.  If you are an avid swimmer this summer season, deep condition your hair every 2 weeks, everyone else, once a month is fine.  A lot of companies make a product that claims to work "the best."  Dove makes a great one that works well and isn't expensive.  You do not have to spend the big bucks for healthy hair.

Keep it simple, moisturized and healthy this summer!

Dating is a Dying Art

When was the last time you went on a solid date where you felt there was a connection, you actually wanted to see the person again, and you felt it could turn into a relationship? When was the last time you went on a date and projected all your thoughts and possibly derailed things after the appetizer? I know we are all guilty of having the foot-in-mouth instead of the spinach dip as the starter course. Or we are downing too many alcoholic beverages before we even learn their last name then complain that things bombed to anyone who will listen. Why are we torturing ourselves? I used to be that single lady who ordered one too many “foot-in-mouth” until I had a moment of clarity and changed my attitude. Looking back, I realized why I was attracting the wrong man and why things never developed due to how ridiculous I was being. I know that by changing a few key things, you too can find a healthy relationship that will give you a sense of pride and boost of self-confidence.

As a plus-sized lady, I fell into the thinking that I may never find the unicorn known as a “good man.” What if I’m not pretty enough or thin enough like some of my counterparts who, in my mind, fit more into what should be and not what is. I honestly have to tell you that that mentality is absolute bullshit. Men are men and they are not as discerning as women make them out to be. If a man finds you attractive, he finds you attractive. Yes, there are men who prefer a thinner woman, but sometimes they tend to be very insecure. It’s mostly due to them being worried about what their friends will think – not their own happiness. I’m not the thinnest hen in the henhouse but I have to say that I turn more heads than my slimmer counter parts. It took years for this to finally sink in but it is possible and it gave me a new sense of self-confidence. I was ready to be loved because I learned to love myself.

I empower you all to smile, be open and open-minded and confident. Learn to listen as well as communicate your desires and ambitions. Finding the right partner starts with finding yourself and loving yourself. Try not to get caught up in broken text message, email conversations, drinking too much during the dating period, being too abrasive or rushing to the future before it even gets here. Relax, have fun and let love find you because it will when the time is right.

The Value of Beauty ?

We hear this almost every day but what does it really mean in our lives?  What is the standard of beauty that we hold hostage over every girls head?  Reminding them to hate themselves 24 out of 24 hours in a day?  We start young, instilling envy with a recipe found on the cover of every magazine, telling them to be somebody because they simply aren't enough.  Why do some companies have to fight so hard to campaign for real beauty?  I've noticed that it finally took almost 60 years for women to accept being a blond truly isn't more fun nor does it imply stupidity.  They can be a redhead, brunette or have purple, pink or bright green hair and they are still beautiful, with brains to boot.

The lines on your face, the freckles that were sprinkled on your skin through a chef inspired round of DNA or the curves of your skin all encompass beauty and you.  Simply, you.  Nothing more, nothing less, nothing in between - no funny business or mess.  These girls, they are dying, their spirits are missing.  Where are the detectives putting out a APB?  Return these girls their sanity, return them their favor, but for God's sake, return them their individuality!  They are cutting pieces of themselves away, with only scars that reveal a treasure map of depression that is induced by standards that are unrealistic or rejection that is unrealistic.  They are starving or over-feeding the monster that lives in the basement and it's growing over powerful to the point it is shaking and destroying their foundation. 

Soulless eyes, dark hearts with sprouts of bleached ambition on top.  I want you to sing with a heart full of gladness, and a mind full of equations.  Always ready for adventure, and ready to change the world.  Progress into the next dimension while you are at it; never stop until you hit the edge then simply keep going.  Remember that you are beauty intensified, you are a delicious morsel waiting to be devoured by life and its riches.  Form your own path because these old roads are leading nowhere fast to the edge of a cliff and dear, I hope you don't fall off.

I love you and YOU should love you!