A Hug or a Handshake?

This is part of a conversation told to me.  It really happened, but I won't reveal any names.  The woman initiated this conversation by calling the guy.  These two met online and had barely been chatting by phone over the course of a week.  The main mode of "talking" was done through text messages.

"Why haven't you asked me out yet?"  - Woman
"Oh, are you going to take me out?" - Man
"No, I was calling to ask you to ask me out.  Are you going to be a gentleman and ask me out?" - Woman
"You didn't let me be a gentleman and ask you." - Man

Animal Print Makeup - Go Curvy

There is a weekly online show that I watch, and love called Go Curvy.  The video below is a segment on doing animal print eyeshadow.  I thought it was so awesome, I had to share it with you all!  This would be great to try for a fun night out.  I love playing with makeup to get different colors or effects because why not, right?  

What is your favorite way to change your makeup style?

The Standard of Standards

"...I respect you, so I don't want to mislead you..."
This is part of an actual quote from someone I went out a few times, a couple of years ago. I like to be honest, and real with my readers because I appreciate your loyalty. The truth can be ugly, and can hurt regardless of how strong and confident we are.

Did Louie Really Hit IT on the Head?

If you haven't heard, seen or watched the clip of Louis CK's show, "Louie," where the fat woman  voices her struggles with dating in great detail, you are missing an important conversation that is almost muted in our society.  The female character goes on about how her struggles encompass men almost living in fear of walking hand in hand with her, let alone dating her, because they are worried to be seen with her.  Louie's character gives off the usual physical and verbal reactions; looking around nervously, and spitting out the knee jerk reaction of, "No, you aren't fat" as a way to make the woman feel better about herself and almost convince himself that it is indeed okay and acceptable TO date her.  I don't necessarily agree with all of what the female character is saying, but I think it's important to start there.

Target's "Pure Energy" Plus Size Line Review

Target has a somewhat revamped plus size line called, "Pure Energy." Naturally, this line comes in items that are not cut well for a plus size shape (surprise).  I went to two (yes two) Target's in my area just to see if there was a variety of items for this line.  Not every store carries the same items, and both locations for me aren't far from each other.  Of course they have the usual suspects, dresses, tops, pants, jeans, blazers, blah blah blah.  Price points? When a top is almost as expensive as a dress, it's okay to skip on this collection.  I really miss the way Target used to be.

My favorite trick now at Target is waiting until their maternity clothes go on sale, and going on a small shopping spree.  My favorite time is when everything is $15 and under.  Their maternity clothes fit a lot better too, and the tops are longer.  Another gem of good news is they mark their stuff down a lot faster lately.  Take advantage of this!

Let me be clear:  not that I think plus size women are shaped like pregnant women, but until plus size retailers understand that just because a woman is plus size, she isn't built like a box, or she actually needs longer sleeves, not a wider midsection - plus size clothes will never fit well.  This also goes for some of those plus size boutiques that sell dresses that look like sausage casing.  Clothing should frame your shape, not squeeze you.

Have you tried this line from Target yet?

Every Day is Mother's Day

I hope you were all able to enjoy Mother's Day, spending it with those that meant the most to you.  Whether it was the woman who gave birth to you, adopted you, or raised you; each woman in your life is special and deserving of the title "Mother."  This, of course, extends to those newer Moms out there who are newly pregnant or  have young children.  Enjoy the ride, take too many pictures and spend as much time as you possibly can with them.  They grow up too fast, and you can't makeup for the lost time.

With all the special gifts we can exchange over any holiday, the best gift to give is self esteem.  Too many women of all ages are suffering, sometimes in silence due to not feeling adequate.  You are all capable, beautiful, smart, and worthy!  Remind yourself each day, and remind those wonderful women around you too.  Let's work hard to keep that gift going!  Fresh flowers are always a bonus too.

Try Something New: Kiyonna

Aren't we tired of shopping endless stores and racks looking for that perfect outfit for an upcoming event?  I know I get tired of it.  Spring is here and that means cleaning out closets and looking to freshen up your closet.  Kiyonna (sizes 10+) has  a nice selection of Spring styles for you or a loved one.  Don't forget they make great gifts! 

Whimsy Wrap Dress

This comes in 5 great colors that will show off your curves.  The ruffled edge makes it sexy, yet playful.  This is great for a wedding, shower, date night - whatever.  That deep V neckline is great for a statement necklace or bold earrings. 

Marie Mesh Top

This is a great item to dress up or dress down.  Jeans? No problem.  Under a blazer? No problem.  Have fun with it and it's 3 great colors!

Valentina Illusion Dress

I absolutely love this dress!  It's a definite WOW factor in all 4 colors they offer!  

 

 

How are you dressing your Spring? 

 

 

Weekend Adventures

I hope you had a great, safe, and adventurous weekend!  Saturday night I visited the restaurant Divan Turkish Grill.  It has a small intimate feel, hookah, great food, and drinks.  It's also a BYOB!  You can't beat that right? It's located right off 6th and South Street in South Philly.  If you're in the area traveling or live there and are tired of the usual, check them out.

Product Review: Suave Moroccan Infusion Body Lotion

I got a free sample of Suave’s Moroccan Infusion Body Lotion recently and I have to say it’s amazing.  It moisturizes very well, light weight on my skin, and you don’t have to use a lot to achieve results.  This winter has been harsh on my skin and my elbows and feet have suffered, but this product has made both areas, and all my curves  feel smooth again.  They also have this product in a body oil spray that I haven’t tried that yet.  I’m sure that would work just as well, especially for the price.

Just Another Fitness Fad?

I am tired of all the gimic-y fitness things going around lately.  Currently, there seems to be a market for owning your own fitness company, selling shakes, and promoting a “clean” lifestyle.  It’s all well and good but let’s look at the reality of the fitness movement – some of these folks use crash diets or various forms of starvation to achieve such results.  Where is the emphasis on being healthy?  Why is there so much  judgement on those who don’t “look” healthy?  I think it’s disgusting and disturbing that such hate is spewed out on women and men who don’t fit into a certain ideal or size.  It’s time to take back your voice, power, and your health.  It’s time to take back your time in the sun.  I think the first step is realizing the reality of your health and fitness level.  I will break down each section to open up the dialogue on what it means to have a realistic fitness plan.

Newest Cool Find

I found this ring  at this small flea market style sale earlier today.  It was the best $5 I have spent lately.  It just goes to show you never know where you will find unique items.  Meow.

Winter Cute?

The hardest part about winter is looking cute.  The only benefit is the low humidity and cold air, so your hair style will last longer.  After that?  It’s not so grand.  We are constantly wrapped up in layers, gross snow boots, and hats.  I have found that when it comes to sweaters, whether it is a turtleneck or other various sweater styles, the best way to dress up the outfit is big, bold statement jewelry – especially bold necklaces!

My favorite place to buy jewelry is Burlington Coat Factory.  They have a very wide selection and low prices so you won’t feel guilty splurging.  If something breaks, gets lost or stolen it’s no big deal.  I have found some cute stuff at other stores but it’s so hit or miss that they aren’t worth mentioning.  I usually try to avoid those house party companies.  You know exactly what I’m talking about.  The items that cost an arm and a leg when the quality is no where to be found.  If you are going to spend a lot of money for jewelry, be sure that the price is on par with the quality, clarity and design.  I see a lot of women who claim their stuff is top notch but I can tell it’s just expensive costume jewelry.

These are some of the items I own that I break out from time to time.  They are big, bold and always start a conversation.

Great pearl necklace for all seasons.  Found at Burlington Coat Factory.

Turquoise necklace that can either be casual or dressy.  I love wearing it more in the Spring and Summer than other times in the year.  Also found at Burlington Coat Factory.

It’s not always you can find green jewelry.  It’s original and can work for a  dressy outfit or something more casual.   Another BCF find.

I love the tiger faces! I found this at Ashley Stewart but I don’t recommend their jewelry at all.  It breaks easily and is incredibly cheap.  I only bought this because I used it in part of a Halloween costume I created.  I know if I wore it all the time it would have fallen apart by now.

This necklace can be twisted and knotted in different ways to create something unique each time.  I got this from Torrid.  I don’t usually buy their stuff but this caught my eye.

 

I always suggest getting a long strand of pearls.  They can be worn a variety of ways, and it is such a classic piece. This was another BCF find.

How are you staying cute this winter?  What are you rocking this winter?

"Excuse me sir, your garbage bag is showing."

I try to hit the gym 5 times a week for at least 45 minutes.  I am determined to not only get in better shape but maintain a healthy weight and figure since I am now in my 30s.  It is no joke that everything starts to sag, slow down, and down right go soft around this age and later on.  Yesterday I was on the treadmill partially watching some crappy TV show they have one until something caught my eye.  At first I didn't think much of it because people will wear just about anything to the gym.  I have seen a woman working out in white linen pants.  No joke.  White.linen.pants.  *sigh*  Anyway.  There was a person on a bike in the row in front of me working hard until I noticed that toward the end of the work-out he was wearing a trash bag under his shirt.  I was very tempted to ask the person if they were okay because it was noticeable that their body was very overworked after 20 minutes on the bike.  This is so unhealthy and dangerous, and I hope no one else is trying this at home!
I understand that there is a current fitness obsession that a lot of people are undergoing in the US.  Look at the sudden surge of all these fitness employees who work from home selling workout DVDs, shakes, and wraps.  I see it all over facebook and beyond.  There is a healthy way to achieve weight loss and health and there are some very unhealthy ways that can do more harm than good, if not kill you.

• Clothing matters:  You do not have to own the latest and greatest fitness clothing but it has to be able to move and grove with you comfortably as you are having fun sweating it out.  Invest in good sneakers and socks.  Your feet need to be properly supported since they absorb some of the shock from all that moving and grooving.  Also, all that sweat need to be wicked away from your foot to avoid athletes foot.  Anyone can get this - from football players to grandma power walking in the park.

• Hydrate your heart out:  No matter who you are, how big or small you are, you need to stay hydrated.  Bring a water-bottle that's huge, take adequate breaks and drinks.  I don't advocate drinking any of those smoothies or whatever people do before or after a workout.  Your body is made of water, not a protein shake.  If you are into juicing, you should be juicing through your day, not around a workout.  Gatoraid is an okay substitute but only if you are doing a serious run or weight lifting session.  I'm talking those who run 2-3 miles a day or are weight training.  The rest of us just need to replenish with water and healthy foods.

• Leave the old school ways in the past:   Yes, there used to be a time where some would sit in a steam room or sauna in sweat pants, sweatshirt with a few layers underneath just to drop 10 pounds over the course of a few days.  I know of women who still do this too but with shape=wear as well as men who practice various athletics.  It's not healthy and your body does not deserve the punishment!

• Maintain Positivity:  This is the most important aspect.  Love yourself through the entire process, respect the skin you are in and that will help in reaching your desired goals.  The moment you go negative, you are headed toward a plateau that is hard to break.

Whether you are working in a group, with a buddy or going it alone, make sure you are taking the proper steps to stay safe as to not get discouraged.  Trust the process, give it time and you will see results.  Love yourself & drink up!

And Away We Go!

Ah, goodbye 2013 and hello 2014.  What does this new year mean for you?  Are you getting married, having a baby, moving, changing careers, going back to school or starting school?  People seem to want to jump into life changing situations as soon as Christmas is over.  Why do we do this?  Why are we adding extra pressure and stress to ourselves just to break these resolutions by the end of February?

I suggest an alternative to these resolutions so you don't feel at all let down come Valentines Day.  Set more realistic goals for this year.  Set goals that can be met every day, week and month.  Do not hope to lose 40 lbs in a month, aim to lose a healthy pound a week.  Aim to make a new friend each month.  Learn to organize small portions of your home or office so that by next December you will have more accomplishments to be proud of that will last through out the next year.  Change is something humans have a hard time accepting and implementing - but it is not impossible.  It is better to start small, even micro because every success is a success worth celebrating.

Stop being so hard on yourself because you didn't accomplish _____ by the time you were _____; or you didn't quit _____ by _____.  It's not worth it.  You are much more than the numbers on the scale, who you share your lease, mortgage or car note with - you are beautiful inside and out.  This is your time to come into your potential and inspire others to do the same.

Do your best, remain positive and start small.  You will reach great heights.

See you down the path!

BoOoOo!

It's a cool morning here and all of social media is buzzing about pumpkins, desserts, Halloween and boots for Fall and the upcoming Winter season.  My personal favorite is sweet potato cake and pumpkin muffins.  I also love Halloween too.  I love the dressing up, socializing with friends and all the free candy, or at least the candy that is dirt cheap the day after Halloween.  I know around this time a lot of stores are running ads for costumes and those Halloween Adventures are starting to pop up around towns across the US.  For the most part, this is a great resource for all the fake blood and guts you need to make your Halloween the most memorable.  The downside?  Their selection for anyone over a true size 14.

The last time I bought one of those prepackaged costumes, it was over priced (surprise) and fit okay but not great.  I would have liked it in a size larger but what are you going to do?  I have spent a lot of time searching out stores that have some extended sizes but they end up being incredibly expensive.  Why would I spend $50-$70 for something I'm wearing for only a few hours that will invariably end up with some food or drink stain on it?  Chances are I won't wear it again another year either.  If you are into spending that kind of money, Torrid would happily take your cash.  They have various Halloween styles that are $50+ and are sizes 12-28.

What about those who can't afford to spend that or simply don't want to?  Make your own costume.  You would be surprised at how easy this is and how inexpensive.  Unless you want to get into something more intricate with sewing great detail and so on, you can find most pieces you will need at a local thrift shop.  They always have various items that can be pieced together to create a unique costume that actually will fit and won't break the bank.
General suggestions:

• Pirate/Gypsy/Witch:  Look for ruffled blouses, corsets, long flowy skirts, scarves to wrap around your head and old costume jewlery to accent your outfit.  If the outfit doesn't look distressed enough, you can use an exacto knife or razor to shread some of the fabric in small areas then run it through the wash.  It will come out looking a bit worn and faded.
• Disney like characters:  I've seen more adults wanting to dress like Cinderella or Belle lately than little girls and that's great.  It is easy to find similar style gowns and the accessories on the cheap.
• Various Animals:  These are easy enough depending on what kind you want.   A little makeup, headband with ears or horns and you are good to go.
• Medical Staff:  Most thrift stores don't carry old scrubs but Walmart actually sells scrubs.  If you are a great seamstress or know someone who can sew, get an outfit, cut it up to how you want and boom - costume.
• Cop:  Same goes for being a Cop or a Sexy Cop of some kind.  Finding the various parts of the outfit is easy enough and fake handcuffs aren't expensive either.
• Various Book or Literature Characters:  It is very easy to find things to put together so you can look just like your favorite character.  Especially since a lot of book characters channel the fashion of years ago so finding the old plaid or worn clothes is an easy find.

For all the other special additives such as fishnets and tights, I have found that Burlington Coat Factory does sell it in plus sizes.  I know Walmart does sell it in plus sizes as well but I haven't tried them personally.  I may this Halloween season though.  I invite you to be creative this year and find something that you like and want to be.  Don't feel limited or intimidated by what is on the rack because it isn't your only option.

Good luck, stay safe and enjoy the sweets!

Basics & Boots

What are you stocking up on this Fall ?

Instead of flooding your feed with Do’s & Don’t's that may or may not work for the next 6 months, I invite you not hold on so tightly to trends.  If you want to try it, do it.

• I wear white all year round.
• I wear bright colors all year round because I love it.
• I hate brown clothes.
• Button up shirts are my enemy.
• I hate how hard it is to find a well fitted turtleneck sweater.

Stores that I often shop in:

• Burlington Coat Factory:  I put them first because you really can find many complete outfits at great prices here.  I love this store and have to have such restraint on going.  Whether you are plus sized or straight size, they have great stuff that is on trend and affordable.
• Target:  Target is very hit or miss.  Lately it has been a miss but for you plus sized ladies out there, hit their maternity section on a sale.  You can get nice stuff that is usually a longer length and tends to fit better.  Their maxi dresses are my favorite because they are long enough.
• Walmart:  Believe it or not, some of their plus stuff fits well and is priced well.
• Forever21:  This store is great for more unique items to spice your every day up, plus their jewelry is insanely cheap.
• Nordstrom:  They actually have a great plus size section that is made with better material and a better quality than other stores.  If you are going to pay a lot for something, you may as well get the best quality you can.

Stores that I am beginning to love:

• H&M: If the price is right, I will start buying more from them.
• ASOS:  They have such cute stuff!  I was recently turned on to them too.  This is why it’s so important to share what you know.  There are so many hidden gems out there.

Stores that I can’t stand anymore:

• Lane Bryant:  Their clothes are way over priced, the material is cheap and the fit is horrible on a plus sized figure.  Their models are usually a size 10-12 at the most and they pin the clothes back on the girls so it looks fitted.  Don’t waste your time and money.
• Ashley Stewart:  Same goes for them.  I don’t understand why they are raising their prices.  Have you seen or felt their material? Yuck!

Break out of the norm, hit up a thrift store – be unique and be happy.

Is 20 Really the New 30? I Don't Think So

Every so often you hear the phrase, “30 is the new 20″ or “40 is the new 30″ and so on.  It annoys me because it is simply not true  and shows how youth obsessed we are as a culture.  This year, in December, I will be turning 30 and you know what?  I’m glad it won’t be a repeat of my early 20s.  I have grown so much as a person in the last 10 years and frankly, I don’t ever want to return there.  I had a great time over the last decade and where I am now, and am going with my life is more of an adventure to me than feeling as though I can “restart” at some point in my life.

My body has changed in all aspects.  I can see some lines being drawn on my face by time, I can feel a difference in my skin, my hair, teeth – everything and I am okay with it.  I respect the flow of life and events and have adapted to what I currently have.  Something I found that helped keep my mind level was creating smaller goals for myself and sticking to them.  Currently, I am aiming at losing another 40lbs of fat.  I started lifting weights last December and a few weeks ago started Zumba (which is amazing).  I am not doing this to fall into what is “beautiful”; I am doing it for me and my family.  I’m in this life for the long haul, God willing.  I want to make a difference in others’ lives and I want to be an example for my son to start healthy and stay healthy as an adult, in mind, body and soul.  For everyone else, whatever age you are, be that age, have fun and learn from your mistakes.  I remember the 16 year old me, the 21 year old me and now the 29 year old me and they are so different that if they were in the same room together, they wouldn’t know each other.  It’s a good thing and can only go up from here.  I’m not afraid of failure and know that around the next corner I will find my success as will you.

As I enter the next decade, I hope to make many more new friends, open my life up to numerous new and exciting opportunities and do more traveling.  For those worried or hoping to be 20-something again, find inspiration in your current 20,30,40,50+ something.  Each decade brings us closer to that true enlightenment.  Each new line, wrinkle, or gray hair is a mark that we lived our lives fully and completely.  Embrace it!

Me at 29 (currently)

VPL

Visible Panty Line is a constant struggle because a lot of clothing items aren't lined anymore.  Lined meaning, there is an extra layer of material between you and the garment to avoid seeing any bumps, lumps or panty lines.  They also don't make slips anymore like they used to either.  The new thing is shape-wear which I am not a fan.  I think it's confining, constricting and uncomfortable.  The closest I get is control top panty hose when it gets cooler out for more dressy and formal occasions.   

For all the other times, wearing the right underwear is crucial. 

Fabrics:

• Cotton:  This is by far the best fabric to buy for your body.  It's also a great choice to wear under denim. 
• Satin/Silk:  This may feel silky and smooth but is not ideal for all day wear, unless it has a cotton panel.  Yeast infections are a very real thing.  
• Lace:  It's pretty and feminine but can be seen through almost anything.  I say keep this to lingerie unless that's the look you are going for. 
• Polyester/Rayon:  This fabric is becoming more and more common in place of satin or silk because it's cheaper to make and produce.  The same rules apply, if it doesn't come with a cotton panel, don't bother with them.  
• Lycra/Spandex:  It's tight.  It will stretch out faster no matter how well you wash it and it's more expensive.  You can wear this under formal dresses, semi formal wear, work clothing as well.  It doesn't breath well either, so pray there is a good A/C wherever you are going. 

Styles:

• Hipsters:  This is my favorite style to wear as far as every day is concerned.  It sits at the top of your hips, right below your belly button.  It's comfortable, trendy and can be worn with pants, skirts, and various short styles. I wouldn't recommend it under a dress because of the dreaded "roll down" then you have to pray you have a moment to run to the bathroom to adjust yourself. 
• Boy Shorts:  This is a fun style that a lot of people enjoy.  It can be worn under almost everything and is very comfortable.  It does allow for more coverage of your tushie and sits at your belly button.  
• Thong:  Be careful with this style.  It might be sexy but it's not ideal to wear all day.  
• High Waist:  This is great under dresses and dress pants.  It allows for the coverage, comfort and seamless effect.  

My rule of thumb is prepare your undergarments as well as you prepare the outfit you are wearing.  The right underwear can save you a lot of embarrassing situations in life, also can save you from doing that shuffle-walk in an effort to adjust yourself.  Invest in good quality underwear that will last a while for your formal and professional ocassions.  Do not feel like you are stuck buying from one store because there are a lot of retailers that sell plus size items.  Also, don't feel bad if you end up buying cheap, every day stuff either.  Things stretch out over time, get holes and don't fit as well as they did before.  Toss them, move on and be happy - your bottom half will thank you.  With each season, go through your drawer and discard.  You know what needs to stay and what needs to go.  

This is my faux pas with underwear done on purpose.  Yoga pants can be awesome but dangerous. Just be mindful of where your top is. That's my hip and part of my stomach. 
See that blue monster peeking out from below deck?  March back in there, mister!